Saturday, September 12, 2015

Spring Cleaning

Spring is here!
The season of newness, blooming, colour, rebirth.
Its not warm as yet in Johannesburg, but there are more and more people walking about, and the sun is setting much later.

We are all ready to go outside, socialize and buzz about.
As we enter Spring, I hope that you will take stock of the past 8 months and burst forth with positivism and creativity.
Like a butterfly, break free from the suffocating cocoons of negativity and procrastination.
Break free from shackles of self doubt and fear.

I am a long way from the type of woman I want to be, but I know I am on the way to her.
This is because, I am now aware of myself and how I lie and betray myself.
We cannot hide from ourselves forever.
That dream will continue to keep you up at night.
That conversation will continue to replay itself in your head.
Those words will continue to burn your throat if you wont say them.
Your stomach will continue to knot as you walk through those doors.

We all know what we need to do, to live well.
We know what lives our souls are aching to experience.
Our true selves carry stories we need to tell.
Our true selves are itching to walk in the world.
We will never rest well, until we become all we were meant to be.

I am trying to make better choices so I can be all I can and want to be. 
Its ongoing journey...I fall sometimes back into my fears and shame.
Learning to not hold onto things as much has helped me significantly.
I am no longer so attached to material possessions, or people, or positions and titles.
I know my value is not tied up into these.
The only thing I am desperately trying to not let go of, is my Lord's hem.
In Him and His Grace, I see how loved and valued I am.

As we spring back up and about, let's take some time to spring clean our lives of all the negative and depressing.
Make a list of things you will stop doing and what you must start doing - and action it!
Some of the things I need to do are:

1. To learn to feel comfortable rolling solo 
I am a middle child and had learned earlier in life, to be resourceful with my time and create fun experiences for myself.
As an adult now, I realize that this could still be fun and affirming. 

It was so awesome to reconnect to myself when I was retrenched.
I could only rely on myself to take action and change my mood, my day and my life.

Love note: 
It a wonderful blessing being part of a tight squad. But don't avoid spending time with yourself. Learn to walk alone and gain strength from individually creating and working on your life. 
It could be starting the day in quiet meditation alone, or taking an afternoon stroll alone. 

2. To live my life inside out...
I love my family and my close friends. But they don't always understand my decisions and my thinking. I have had to accept that people are motivated by different things. Also, what inspires me, doesn't necessary have to inspire others. What lies inside me, my heart, my soul, is mine. Only I need to understand it and be true to it.
It might seem silly or juvenile to others, but that's their perspective. I must just mind my own own business.

Love note:
Don't get angry with the world for not seeing your point of you. All you need is to be convinced of it yourself. Don't preach. Just live your life well.

Pic by:

3. Life school is never EVER out
Even though I feel like I understand myself better now, there is more to learn.
God is never done.
I see it even now with my new boss who is bubbly and loud and colourful - direct contrast to the introverted, analytical, social misfit that is me.
But in her bog personality, I see all that I can sponge up. People gravitate towards her because she is comfortable with herself. What you see is what is there. People like that kind of honesty. She is an open book.

Love note:
Be open to learn. Arrogance is the surest way to despair and hopelessness.
Learn from others, learn from your own life's twists and turns. Learn from nature. Everything carries a message that points you back home to you.


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