Saturday, September 12, 2015

Life is Now

It was Maya Angelou who said, "When you learn, teach. When you get, give."
I am a sponge when it comes to "soul lessons".
A lot of people who talk about self actualization or self love, are in my experience, people who have endured life's hardest knocks and came out a lot kinder and wiser.
They are also so hungry to live. They fill up each day with wonderful moments and take nothing for granted. They appreciate their loved ones and more than anything else, they want to give back!
I can spot one of those love warriors anywhere! My soul gravitates to them.
Andrea Balt is one. Check her out on Instagram. But my life is littered with so many, I am grateful to God for them.

Grace carried me through the lowest points in my life. 2006 was one. But Grace has also provided me with the most painful but necessary moments too. And that was 2014/15. I grew up a lot. And all that was required was for me to slow down and wake up. I was lulled to sleep by routine, fears, self loathing, people's expectations and the career chase.
I was asleep to my dreams and goals, asleep and not honouring all the love and support that was around me and asleep to true Grace that only comes from God.

I learned lots over the last 9 months but my biggest lesson is that Life is now.

I am a notorious procrastinator. I always push things that I need to do for myself out.
Even when I didn't have a job and could finally action some of the items on my daily lists, I wouldnt. But again, life send me a reminder through the sudden passing of my pastor.
I am so conscious of life and living now that I often get so upset with myself for wasting hours, sitting mindlessly in front of the TV. 

I am trying to improve on how I spend my days. I want to drink and drain the day of its blessings.
I don't agree that life is short - but I believe that life is precious and should be enjoyed now.
Its not the number of years that really count, its what you do with the years you have.

Our pastor had lived working in a job he loved and knew was his calling. He had just remarried and was spending his days blessing many people with his work, his humor and his time.
I want that for myself. I want to live deeply, loving those God has entrusted me with. 
I want to enjoy being here - to travel, to eat and drink, to love and be loved, to try all the things that scare me like scuba diving (will do it again after the epic failure that was my first try). I want to not only engage life but also gracefully wave the white flag at the things that don't want me. The serenity prayers comes to mind here...

Life is happening now. Observe the opportunities around you to live, to love, to learn and feverishly throw yourself at them.


  1. Chills. You are that warrior to me! The one my soul gravitates too. I see you. Even when you don't see you and you trying to hide your light. Even through the fear. I SEE YOU! Even when you don't want to shout out your deepest dreams to me just in case.... I STILL SEE YOU.

    You have power beyond your wildest dreams. I cannot wait to travel this journey of life together in whichever way God sees fit and I look forward to witnessing the miracles that God wants to perform through us and to us.

    Thank you for sharing and thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life.

    Love you so much.

    1. Thank you for this. Knowing that you see me...really...and still want to be this woman who feels so deeply and blindly knocks into life's crazy turns, fills me with such happiness. We are in this together, forever my friend. XO